Sunday, July 21, 2013

I am doing the right thing

Ain't I?

It's easier being mad and unreasonable. What comes to mind would be the answer. What now? Reasons and justifications keep coming to place on my plate and I do not know which to swallow and which to toss aside.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

What's Lost is Lost

Feeling rather worthless, I pull myself out of bed. I may as well write my own story.

I bit my lips and open my eyes to face the truth. Holding my breath and clearing my head, putting away self point of view, I reason myself once again that it is for the best. As much love there may be, that's no reason for him to bear my unbearable attitude with no remarkable return.

We had history. Let it be forgotten for there is no great one to be reminded of.

He said I am making a huge mistake and I will regret.

Haven't I done a greater mistake? Haven't I already regretted? I've lived through it and I've seen enough that "forgive" is not given through word.

Ten months that I have lived to temp myself to never stray from the paved path. I personally did it with sincerity. But I can't earn back anything. What's lost is lost.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Empty Heart

I've noticed the distance between us. I ignored it. The cycle of that moment has returned. I thrust my owned instinct. I blamed myself for feeling the difference. I forced a smile. I formed a belief. So I begged him to stay for I hoped for greatness out of this relationship.

Only now that I realized, when he asked to leave, the potential one was already there. This time it is obvious and it is seen. It's no longer an imagination that he always named it.

Silence myself from weeping, I noticed the conversation in the distance. The world seems not to care that I'm broken into pieces. The line I have read flashing out before my eyes. How many lies have I listened with this whole heart believing it was a genuine vow?