Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Withdrawal

Let me start by saying 'I AM SORRY'.

I disappointed you. In the name of a best friend and a close friend, I ought to fulfilled my obligation as one. I ought to at least act like one. But I did not. I failed you. Yet, you gave me reasons and forgave me. Instead of being grateful of receiving such a great thing from you, I kept repeating the mistake. It annoys you, I understand. It also bugs my nerve.

So, I put on my best effort, drove away the no-confident, brought the courage in and be the good friend. The response was not satisfied. The reluctant in your answer, the unfinished conversation, the not looking back at me straight in the eye hurts me badly. I, at that point of time, understood your pain.

The shame was on me. I did not handle it well when I had the chance. Now that it comes to this stage, I suddenly feel awkward talking to you. I no longer have a name for you to call. I no longer exist in you fridships circle. The fence was already built. I did not know until today. Whatever you say, I know I am a coward and I suck in relationships. I wish no more to be the bad cause. I do not wish to be anything to you now. It is not because I no longer love you. I do and always will. Somehowe, it hurts me when I am the reason for your pain. And it hurts me more to see you bare the pain I caused.

This is now end with 'I AM SORRY'