Tuesday, January 04, 2011

It was now and then

When I was a sophomore, I had a fight with my close friend. I edited her picture without her permission; the picture was turned into B&W with a shot of her sad face. She gave me a call and warned me not to ever do anything to her picture ever again. She hated the picture. I was mad. All I did was making it special for her. She saw something else. I stopped talking to her closely since then. I thought she was being unreasonable, she was all to her own thinking and judgment. Everyone loved it, not her. Really, I didn't understand why though she already provided me reasons. Instead, I wished she could have said that she doesn't like the picture that I specially made for her in public rather than talking one on one with me. Because I was hoping that everyone else would agree to my thinking and believe that she was wrong. I wanted to prove that my intention was no harm. I wanted her to see the good deeds that lies in such an act. And I wanted her to know that I was hurt.

I wanted and I wanted more. I did not try to see what she wants. I did not try to see the other side of my act. I did not try to picture the affects. I did not even bother trying to seek the reason for my own question "Why did she tell me so?". I kept believing what I did was right. I kept telling myself that she needed to respect my friendship for her. I did not try to see what she sees.

Then I came to realized. I was so immature. How could I stop talking to her when she was being honest to me? How dare did I ask her to accept what I give when she doesn't want to take; worse, hating it. How stupid I was to hope that she would showed her anger in public. How thoughtless was I then to lose such a thoughtful friend. She was trying to save my face. She was trying to save our friendship. She was being honest. She only wants me to take the real her. And I could not.

Then it comes to me that I don't know what I could lose with what I'm doing now.

3 comments:

Phossdey said...

Quite a story eh. I reckon thing happened for reason. Anyway, make it clear when you meet her in the future. Time may heal. :)

LPP said...

I don't know. A broken glasses could be fixed but the crack would always be there, don't you think?

Phossdey said...

That's very true ... but regard the matter of something else ... asking what it is .. I don't know too. :D