Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Marriage Vs Affair

Almost 100 out of 100 guy has an affair after marriage. I doubt. I asked. No satisfied answer provided. The only answer is: it's guy nature.

Imagine, before getting married, you and her struggled for marriage. You and her tried to persuade both side of parents to approve on your marriage. Before that, you and her struggled to get along together. You and her love one another very much. You and her accept the truth that you both could share a life together. You and her have gone through many battles before reaching the stage of being married together.

But why suddenly, you chose to spend your time with another woman while your-her is waiting for you at home? I don't understand. It's even more headache when you said you love her but you are holding another woman. Saying that you would never let her go then why would you have that other woman? I don't understand man. Really, I don't understand a thing about man.

To me, having an affair means you no longer love your wife. Even if guy might say, he loves his wife and would never let her go but he still wants to have another woman. It's their nature. And it's the wife nature as well to wish for her husband to have her alone in his life, or at least in this marriage life. I think, if he betray, then it's better to kill our feeling for him rather than to kill another woman for him. It's hard and almost impossible but for now, that's how I think.

7 comments:

Sopha said...

That's guy's NATURE. What a good answer! Guys always want to try something new.

Before marriage, she's SPECIAL. But after marriage: "I still love you, but what can I do; you are not special anymore. I want a different taste."

admin said...

It's a deabatable point. Too true to claim that it's man's nature. Too true to say that man loves something new.

Let's take a look at this:
MEN = NEW

If you just rotate the term 'NEW' to at least 180 degree, you'll see that NEW looks like MEN.

Is this man's nature implies also in world's most popular language?

I'm really appricated you're open to talk about this. And I hope it will only lead to a fruitful discussion.

ThaRum
http://tharum.info

khmerbird said...

it's an interesting post. it cover the subject that i have tried to understand since quite a long time, i saved it to write a book. but for the time being i want to share a bit about what i found. it's my personal feeling only, please don't think it will cover all the case-affairs in this country.

If marriages come from love, why does becoming husband and wife destroy love? The questions has been asked in my writing at http://www.khmerinstitute.org/musings/mu6.html

Love like all other thing has an expired date. After one year of marriage, or 2 years or 10 years, nobody is going to love nobody. It is the end of world. It’s sad but it’s true. The feeling that we reserved before we live with this person, will never be the same as the feeling after we lived with this person for a certain time. Give an example to a classmate. Compare the feeling before you decide to make friend with that classmate and after 10 years that you both become the close friends. You cannot deny that things change in the flow of time.

The most and main cause is beauty. Man like all other creature, he like and adore the beauty. He can pretend himself. He can tell himself, protest against himself a million of time, but he cannot let a beautiful girl pass away from his eyes. It’s an intention, a very cruel intention.

It might have many others causes, which I cannot show it here, but I can give an example. Something that similar to this growing love killer: man always sees his wife increase her needs, her demands and her shopping center and take care less of her husband. She might find various excuses, due to baby, due to we already married … etc.

Please believe me that it is not an easy decision when he decides to have an affair. Some people might decide more quickly but for most of the case, it’s a way to survive. The man doesn’t talk much because he knows and he might have already a million experiences with his wife, that in this life or next his wife will never be able to understand about his feeling, not anymore. So he cannot share anything with his wife. We called it a separation in term of mentality sharing.

And this thing happened to every couple, a thousand and a thousand husbands and wives.

And I personally don’t agree when you said [quote]Almost 100 out of 100 guy has an affair after marriage[/quote]

It is not true. There are also a thousand and a thousand husbands and wife found the way to survive their marriage. But since it’s not concerned to the topic, I would save it for next time.

Why he confess that he still love his wife, even he is having an affair (with other girl)?

He might a very deep love inside his heart for his wife, even time change and make him confused sometime, but most of the time he still love his wife. The man is like all other creature, has the memory. He never forgets the woman he loves. If you could understand, the man scarify a lot to become a good husband, sometime even against his will, but he is happy and volunteerly doing everything. And it could become dangerous when he didn’t happy to do it anymore or even the wife forces him to do so.

But he might still love his wife, but he couldn’t find the way to share his daily life or personal feeling with her anymore, the most mainly reason, if you know, the man cannot survive in 40 days without woman.
To have more details, please watch 40 Day and 40 Nights
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/40_Days_and_40_Nights

There are a lot of people who still live in a happy married life. I still feel positive way about this.

Please be happy!

SAMBO Samphors said...

Pha: Agree with you too. They want a different taste. Damn it!!! Women are no food!

Tharum: This is just what recently pop up in my mind and I just wrote it down. Seriously has no offense and yes, I'm hoping for a fruitful discussion. Thanks for your idea ne!

Khmerbird: WOWOWOW!!! That's super long comment hehe... but really, appreciate it. It sounds quite scary when every couple would go to the same way the other had gone to. Anyway, I still believe in Love, if you love him/her enough, you won't let the boredom interfere your marriage life. To me, marriage is a Love Certificate lolz... And hey, good luck with your book. Can't wait till its publication :)

sowath said...

Emotional but intriguing piece of writing.

Well, nothing lasts. You may really love someone so much for the first time but love does fade away as time goes by. It's just undeniable that the more you get to know someone, the least you like them. it's just plainly true. beauty and boredom do play some part in it as well.

I just believe that there's no solution to it whatsoever. And i'm sorry to say so. but let's see if things change. But for now, you' ve really gotta make the best use of the time you have with the one you love. Just enjoy yourselves.

icebreaker said...

Interesting and challenging topic. Well, since i'm guy, hahah maybe I should say something out. I don't think out of the 100 guy has affair after the marriage. Not all the guys are like that u know, i bet there's exception. I'm not saying i'm the decent or gentle guy or what, but if u truly in love, u'll never walk out. unless u no longer love ur wife, then u'll of course have an affair. Or maybe it's nurture, environment lolz. Guy's nature is not always like that.

Monida said...

Hi everybody,

I'm a married woman and I would like to share my opinion too. I was married since 2006. Until now it is more than 7 years. We have a daughter. I could say we live our married life happily.

I do agree with blog owner that men like something new. So why don't women (wife) help him to find or to create or to do something new together? ;)

I also do agree with Khmerbird that "beauty" is the appetite for every men. So in the name of wife, we should care about our beauty too...not only after 1st childbirth then we(wife) become an old lady or a let ourselves getting fatter and fatter ...no...we should keep in mind that we are still in form...still slim...still beautiful...something like that.

And of course in every married lives, there are also a tough time that we should learn how to manage it, how to solve it...

I think these could lead love last eternally.

Monida